Life Worth Living

Dear Elsie

So I haven't written in a while, and I'm not really sure what I'm about to write about 🙈 lol but you know me...

I went to cell today (timeout zone) and it  being the last one this year we each were given a platform to reflect on the year, what we went through, what we learned what we are grateful for and all. So as I was reflecting on my year and couldn't say everything given the time I had been granted I figured I'll write about it and so here it goes

Lol ... it's actually kinda funny in a way lol don't laugh thou🙈 ... God is real and he's amazing, so during my hardships last year actually my last straw with that world I'd created (refer to last post) was on this day that I just broke down and not only did I break down but on that same day, same day I repeat, my phone broke down this was last year November that being the case all the captured memories and everything was inaccessible as I had broken my laptop aswell some months before ... I know right, I'm such a klutz ...
This Monday, literally a year after my phone broke down I got it fixed, all year long I wasn't really bothered with not having it but this weekend I figured I get it fixed and I did, finally getting access to all the memories and I realized something...

People like to say 'God puts us through trials to strengthen us' that's a lie, or they'll say, after going through hard times 'I thank God for putting me through that as now I've leaned this and that' that's so wrong and it paints my God bad
My God doesn't put us through trials and tribulations, He says in His word that "Trials and Tribulations will be there but I will be there with you" this tells us He doesn't send the troubles to us but troubles are there in this world, but He is here with us and guess what He is greater than the troubles, His word also says He makes all things work together for our good, now hold these thoughts

So (back to the phone issue) I went through my phone and at first I was scared, I thought the memories would send me right back to that dark sad place but something in me wanted to see and so I went through pictures, through messages with my friends crying about 'my crushing world' (refer to previous post) ... I laughed, lol for real it was so funny ... by the way I just realized how this is about to be long, so brace yourself ...

I laughed as I realised how absolutely pathetic I was, I was so sad, so vulnerable, so desperate it was ridiculous and I remembered God talking to me about idolatry, warning me about having made that world an idol and I fought it but as I went through my phone I saw it, it was as clear as day , I had made an idol of this world I worshipped it, it was my life my everything, it had taken the place of God in my life 

Imagine this ... you are born in a world that's figured everything out, a world that understands God, has a solid relationship  with Him and knows how to access His blessings and promises, that's figured how to make the right decisions meaning no mistakes and absolutely everything is done right, sounds like paradise doesn't it? The Garden of Eden? 

Well we aren't living in that world, and that's ohk, cause God knew it would be like this that's why he said there will be trials and tribulations, these come because at some point we make mistakes we get involved in things we shouldn't and issues come, think about Adam and Eve in the garden, it was paradise no problems whatsoever just joy, peace, and happiness, until they made a bad decision, until they decided to do things their own way, when they decided to not confirm with God first then boom 'Pandora's Box' 

When I decided to build up my world I didn't confirm with God if I was making the right decision I just jumped in, turns out the world wasn't legit and like a house built on bad foundation the world fell apart   -Trials and Tribulations will come
When my phone broke down it stopped me from making myself an even bigger idiot lol, inaccessed me  to memories of the world to hold me back, losing that world humbled me, lol life will humble you fam ... humbled, I was able to see my faults and learn my lessons, I was able to forgive, myself and others, I was able to reconnect with God who gave me a chance to see life in a whole different light, relationships, school, spirituality and just life in general, I became a better version of myself, stronger, fearless, more loving and caring, kinder, worry free, doubtless of God and His power, I realized that I was a spiritual being, a god, I'm wiser, I'm more confident in myself, I'm doing music now and I'm loving it, I'm part of a group of young people aiming for the stars and most importantly  I'm closer than I've ever been with God my father. Now I look back and I realise how God never left my side, how he was there with me making my 'righting' my wrongs, showing me the lessons to pick up from the whole ordeal            -But I will be there with you, and I will make all things work together for your good...

So through bad decisions, our own or other people's, we have trials and tribulations but God is with us the whole time and He makes all things including those trials and tribulations work together for our good... that's grace, Undeserved Favour and that's one of the biggest things what I've learned this year ...
His grace and mercy gives second chances in life it doesn't matter how many times I stumble and fall His Grace and Mercy will always be there to pick me up and give me a go, that makes life refreshing, knowing that you can never be defeated, that no matter the odds you have a father that's always got your back giving you more chances at life and making it better each time ... it makes life worth living

B.Nems